Couple weeks ago I've read some quote. This quote coming from religious public figure, and ton of people began to like and share it. So many young people feeling enlightened by this quote, except me. This quote saying "Get a child as fast as you can, prior to your success, so your kid will understand about struggle".  For me, this is just another stupid quote that driving young people won't prepare for their future. If you think this kind of motivational quote, you don't understand about struggle,  you don't know the half of the abuse, you don't know the world can be cruel beyond your imagination.

I might not been married yet, but raised by single mother, I know exactly what struggle is. My suffer is nothing compared to other people in the war zone or crime victim but I'm gonna tell you. Everything started messed up when my father passed away, left my mother without financial support. We used really poor. 50% of house made from bamboo, but front much better. The floor is soil, and when it's rain, water everywhere. We even let couple families of frogs living under our wooden desk.

I still remember make a trap for rats or wild dog that will capture them when they try to enter our house by digging the dirt under the door. And I almost set the house on fire twice, when me and my brother try to cook, and when I forget to put the fire off after boiling water. 

Other "success" family member won't recognize my family. One day at family gathering,  they're lined up kid to get gift, kind of 5 or more kid I don't really remember. Without hesitate I stand in the middle, and they began to give the kid some gift one by one. Every kid got a gift, except me. Yes, they skipped and ignored me on purpose. I was confused and keep standing when other kid began to open their gift, I thought they run out of gift, but it's not. They just stack the gift on the desk, for other kid that maybe coming late. My mother saw what happen and immediately hold me and go home. I can see my mother's sad face, trying not to cry. We never coming at our "success" family gathering again.

When I was preschool, my friend invited me to play in her house. We played in the yard in front of her house. After a couple minute, her parent take her inside and closed the door, leaves me alone in the yard. I used to take a shoe from neighbor trash can. I thought the shoe still good enough, and I can wear it. My own shoe has been ripped so bad sometimes my feet slide through and my mother already had enough debt. My neighbor saw me, and couple days later they bought me new shoes.

Sometimes I'm lying so I can hangout with classmate. I know this is so low but I basically know and had nothing. I remember borrowed my friend DVD, even though I don't have DVD player. For my friend if you reading this, I'm sorry, I just want to make a friends. When my friends had a laptop, handphone or some cool stuff, the only I had is small radio, I bought around $2.

When I was in high school, I lived in small rent room. $2 to survive for one week. 80 cent I used to take a bus. Sometimes I eat only rice, or instant noodle for couple days. I don't have any stuff that can be use to help my study except book and pen, while I took computer science in school. Someday, I got score "The Most Inactive Student", for some school project because I don't have money to go to internet cafe.

I don't blame anyone. If I have to, the only I blamed is GOD, but I think it just my way, my life, my fault and my destiny. I'm gonna live it up anyway. I just don't want to see other kid have to suffer like me. Please don't let your kid see your struggle to get money and other life support, it's hurt to watch. Being poor and being frugality is totally different. If you want to teach the kid about frugality, you don't have to be poor. Support them the best way you can, don't let your kid burdened by your inability. So they grow up in the best way. I hope you're ready when you have a kid.

If supporting child is too hard for you, no one is forcing you to have one.