Tepatnya sebuah pertigaan, sebuah gerbang kecil menyambungkan jalan dengan rumah bertembok melingkar. Terlihat bata merah tertata rapi menyusun tembok layaknya seperti gerbang istana. Tanaman bunga yang mulai mengering ada disekeliling halaman rumah, menyisakan setapak jalan kecil berdebu. Langit sore mulai memerah, dan angin berhembus sedikit hangat. Pintu kayu terlihat besar dan usang, namun tetap kokoh dan sedikit terbuka. Rumah - rumah terlihat saling berdekatan, hanya dipisahkan jalan setapak kecil.

Dari kejauhan pun aku bisa melihatnya, dia berdiri didepan rumah, sendirian dan sedang menunggu sesuatu. Masih dengan wajahnya yang manis, namun terlihat sedih. Sesaat dia menoleh kearahku, bibirnya mencoba untuk terseyum, namun sorot matanya tak mampu menyembuyikan beban yang dia tanggung.  Dibalut gaun putih memanjang dan rambut terurai, begitu cantik tanpa make up. Aku berdiri dibelakangnya, agak jauh mungkin 3 meter, sama - sama memandang langit yang semakin merah dengan angin yang tak kunjung lelah untuk berhembus.

"Sore yang cantik", aku mencoba mengaburkan keheningan diantara angin yang semakin dingin. Dia tetap memandang langit, dengan senyum kecil yang dipaksakan, tetap hening berdiri ditengah terpaan lembut angin yang semakin membuatnya terlihat cantik. Beberapa anak kecil terlihat ceria bersepeda di jalan kecil samping rumah, mengabaikan keheningan kami.

"Jadi, akhirnya seperti ini", kalimat yang dia katakan setelah menghela nafas panjang, sambil menundukkan wajah. Dia menatapku sebentar dengan padangan sorot mata yang penuh dengan rasa bersalah lalu kembali menatap langit. Aku tidak tau apa yang ada dipikirannya, yang pasti tidak seharusnya dia merasa bersalah.

"Ya", jawabku singkat. Langit mulai gelap, seakan menuntunku untuk segera pulang dan menyembunyikan wajahku yang begitu pucat. Aku berjalan melewatinya tanpa sepatah kata, hanya senyuman kecil ketika kami saling bertatap. AKu meraih stang sepeda tua punya ibuku, ingin segera kukayuh cepat - cepat tanpa harus menoleh. Didepanku beriringan anak kecil yang tadi bermain sepeda, pulang menuju rumah mereka. Mungkin seharusnya aku tidak menoleh ke belakang, namun aku hanya ingin melihatnya sekali lagi, masih menatap langit dan tak bergeming, lalu sejenak menatapku. Sorotan mata nanar dan senyum berat dibibirnya hampir membuatku lupa, hari ini adalah hari pertunangan dia dengan kekasihnya. Mungkin, aku harus segara pulang.

It's hard for me to sleep early, I sleep after midnight usually,.but  I feel so different that night, the light look so dim, the air slowly growing humid and cold. My head feel so heavy and hurt but I don't know how it's feels exactly. My body feel so much tired, yet I just do regular stuff that day. I drink so much coffe lately, to boost my energy. Sometimes, everything is better when you drink coffe. My room was quite small, 3x3 meters with wardrobe that I rarely use, desk full of my stuff, and my bed totally disorganized.

Spent almost 2 hour trying to sleep, finally be able to close my eyes at 2AM. It didn't las long, unfortunately I wake up arround 2:30 becouse I feel so uncomfortable. Trying hard to close my eyes and go back to sleep again, but then there it goes.

I feel something touching my feet, kind of gentle pressure, like a mother touching her baby. Thingking it was just my folded blanket, so I just moved my feet and cover it with my blanket, keep trying go back to sleep. The touch comeback again, at this point I'm already half asleep, so I just ignored it. Suddenly it's grab me and trying to drag me. I was shocked, and screamed a little. I wake up and sat at my bed, looking arround but no one in my room except myself. The worst part, it's grab and drag me again even I'm wide awake. I don't feel the form or texture, I just feel the pressure, it's quite strong that moved my feet a little.

Scared the hell out of me, I running to my mom's room. Luckyly my mom left the door open. I just sat at my mom desk for a couple minute, trying to understand what's going on. I'm not waking up my mom, just sat quietly, then go back to my room. I left the door open, and left the light turn on. Once again, trying to sleep.

I woke up in the morning, humid small rent room always smell nice after heavy rain. Stretch a bit then try to move my foot. This Saturday I only had one class, that means class finish at 10 AM, my school changed the schedule so we had to study at lab, my favorite class. Turn off my alarm, look out of my window I left open at night. My desk always look disorganized but who cares, it always end up like that, so many water bottle under the desk. I forgot to throw out the trash, maybe tonight. I sit at the "hard" bed, and read my note yesterday at the wall, what I've to do this day. My jacket still hanging for a couple year with couple chocolate candy that my crush gave to me inside it's left pocket. I should eat it before expired. The glass at my wardrobe already broken, I'm closed the door too hard when I'm angry. My perfume above wardrobe but I never use it anyway. I nee to take a shower, sometime I need to queuing to use bathroom, share with my neighbor. But today is my lucky day, no one around bathroom.

I'm so happy this day, I'm gonna see my crush. I'm kind of shy kid who staring at a girl from a distance. Call me weak, stupid, but I just can't flirt. Sometimes I wonder how my friend be able to  tease and joke with his girlfriend, and I'm here staring like a stone. Don't dare to say that's cute, that thing only apply on good looking guy, and you're right, I'm ugly af. Closed my rent room door, start walking to school.

It's a bit weird today. The sky look dark grey make the only color that exist is black and white. Everything look like an old tv show, just black and white. I'm the only human at the street, what a day, the street is totally empty. Not even a single human at the road. It's main road, almost everyday full of vehicle day and night, but this morning, only me, must be lucky day. I kept walking, and every store beside the road is closed.

It's a bit weird but who cares, I'm gonna see my friends, my classmate. A great friends for 3 years, in the same class. Laugh, play, study together. I will never forget this togetherness. I believe this day will be good day at lab.  I really like study at lab because it's just feel so free. You don't have to sit and listen, but you can do something on your own.

Start entering my school gate, wide open but no one. Start to walking at my class lab, I didn't see anyone at school. School lab's door wide open, must be somebody there. Start to looking around lab but I just didn't see anyone. Just no one in there, even in the bathroom. Am I too early ?. So I decided to waiting my friend in front of the door. Sky bit darker, make everything seem dark grey. Its should be 6:30 AM, It's look like already 6 PM.

It's already 7:00 AM, is this kind of joke ?. I'm sure its not holiday. Every classroom wide open, even canteen providing fresh snacks and food, but why no one here. I'm walking around one more time, library, teacher's office, sports field, it's empty school. Back to my class lab, and waiting there. I keep waiting and the sky keep getting darker. I keep standing in front of lab, waiting my friend to show up, but they didn't. And now, it's like a mid night. Everything just pitch black, so dark, and I just keep waiting.

I started to worried, sad, and ... I ... I ... feel ... so alone.

At this point I know where I am right now and I started to cry because I realize someday, I will be alone, lost everything and everyone I loved. Nothing survive against the time, nothing last forever. I recall when I lost my childhood friend, couple years later I dreamed about him. In that dream, I asked him about how it's feel to be past away and what do you doing after that, what's the right religion. He just smile, not answering my question. I always want to know, but maybe I'm gonna find myself someday.

I woke up in tears. I graduated couple years ago.